I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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