I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
this hospital has no fireball
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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