you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Drunk is not a location!
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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