His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize