Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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