I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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