well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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