I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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