just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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