Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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