Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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