Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
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Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
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All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
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