Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize