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see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
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