Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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