let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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