Redeem this text for a blowjob
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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