you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
A+ Viking dick
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize