it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize