Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT. http://tfl.nu/s1v1
  Replies (70) Good night (4593) Bad night (1284) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (507): We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night. http://tfl.nu/sjq5
  Replies (5) Good night (4487) Bad night (628) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing http://tfl.nu/z6st
  Replies (12) Good night (2935) Bad night (923) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and" http://tfl.nu/hqw1
  Replies (20) Good night (6241) Bad night (813) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog. http://tfl.nu/8mg1
  Replies (18) Good night (10023) Bad night (1654) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (563): I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer. http://tfl.nu/sbgi
  Replies (3) Good night (2287) Bad night (738) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME? http://tfl.nu/y4zz
  Replies (7) Good night (2649) Bad night (612) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type. http://tfl.nu/2pbk
  Replies (6) Good night (1469) Bad night (651) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  tell her thanks so much

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences. (484): tell her thanks so much http://tfl.nu/mozf
  Replies (5) Good night (1969) Bad night (482)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.

  (607): View more from New York

  I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot. (607): I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero http://tfl.nu/sawz
  Replies (2) Good night (1614) Bad night (303)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.

  (1-413): View more from Massachusetts

  A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens. (1-413): A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck. http://tfl.nu/qib0
  Replies (9) Good night (1264) Bad night (405) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno. http://tfl.nu/rdsm
  Replies (2) Good night (1005) Bad night (164) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (213): 2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here. http://tfl.nu/53p6
  Replies (3) Good night (776) Bad night (197) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go. http://tfl.nu/gkdk
  Replies (5) Good night (670) Bad night (185) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that. http://tfl.nu/dlkz
  Replies (1) Good night (358) Bad night (198) Order T-Shirt

Randomize