i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize