the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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