don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
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He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
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Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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