I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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