Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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