Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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