he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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