Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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