I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize