I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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