Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just found puke in my bra..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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