I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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