Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
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I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
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He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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