I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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