Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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