I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
this just has baby written all over it
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize