my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize