i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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