but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize