Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize