Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
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She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
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So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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