this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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