Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize