Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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