Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize