Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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