ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
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Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
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Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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