PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize