Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize