I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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